All I’ve ever wanted was someone who would fight for me. Now that I know my worth, I’ve been expecting more out of guys. You see, I really am not like other women out there who’ll go out of her way to express her loving feelings anymore. I learned that lesson. I will be friendly as far as my long days will allow me to honestly smile, but I won’t say “it” until I am 100% sure the guy feels the same way. I am not like other women who’ll go out of her way to see “that” guy. I learned that lesson. I don’t want to say it could have been fate that I am working with you and we’re working towards the same goal, but you see… one of the first hard lessons I’ve learned was to never have emotional feelings towards a coworker. That lesson was never forgotten. But I have fallen by your sense of confidence first, laugh second, and I guess your annoyingly cute face third? My damn heart just couldn’t control itself. Thank goodness I’m moving to on-call next year to be one step closer to one of my goals.
I don’t know what it was you did to me to make me start thinking this way again after an awful experience with another guy, but you did. I see you giving medications to people every day we work the same day in the hospital, and somehow I try not to stare, too, long, or even glance at all. Every time I see you though, I want to make you smile and laugh for at least a couple seconds of the day because I know that seeing and hearing those two things will certainly make my day a bit better.
There’s this quote I recently read about waiting for the one who will motivate you to be better than you were, and in a way, you did. You finally got me started on my medical journey again after months of delaying the inevitable. My self-confidence has grown since taking time off to just work that I really want to provide everyone with the best health care possible now. You may not know it, but you made me realize again my first love of healing people. Now everything is just a climb towards the top, because of being at the bottom, too, long. Thanks, buddy.
But like I said in the beginning, all I’ve ever wanted was someone who would fight for me. I need to know that the guy will cherish and love me just as much as I will cherish and love him, because I already know how far I’ll go for the one I love. I’ve been crushing on all the wrong guys due to being seen only as a “sister” or “just a friend”, or “not having enough experience”, or the timing has been so-called the “wrong-timing”, that I need to feel on cloud nine for once in my life. I know I am patient, thus and there are many guys out there who’ll definite love to fulfill my wants and desires through up and downs and vice versa, so I WILL wait. I want a true friend. I want my best friend. Someone I can chat freely with, be vulnerable and cry with, be intimate with, eat with, joke with, laugh with, snuggle with, and adventure life with.
Aww, confused co-worker, I TOTALLY understand what you are feeling! I think I was in the same situation! Girl, I was just saying, “PREACH IT,” while reading through your letter! Love love it! And I tagged some words towards the end to some previous post I’ve made that totally provide my example. 😀 But love, LOVE this! Thanks for sharing!
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