Dear,

A jealous person has the viper’s tongue. I am human, thus I’ve been jealous and envious of people in the past, but people’s misconstrude words about me — words I never said nor did — spread like the plague, thus I could never, will never be that jealous person. I learned that hate grows on hate, so what better way to end the chain of hate than with indifference? Or even love?

Love takes practice. Weird, I know. But real love is patient. Real love is kind. Real love takes no records of wrongs. Can you tell me that you would forgive someone for talking about you to an entire college campus (maybe just to science classmates– that’s still a lot) and you’ll forgive them off the bat? Trust me when I say I felt humiliated because the words came from someone I lived with and trusted. I felt I could never forgive. But guess what… life moves on and one year later, I’m forgiving to live a happy life with no viper tongues and critics.

After talking to a co-worker one night, I realized she wanted to “repeat” what I said to her, but she couldn’t. Guess why? Her tone. She admitted to herself that she was exaggerating it. It’s so easy to exaggerate words, right? So just try not to and say the words like it is. To the point. Another coworker texted in a group chat about another coworker “hating” her, but I needed to stop her in her tracks, because I knew the coworker didn’t say it to her face. One of my mottos since college: say it to the face and I will know it is real. They probably have moments when they think I overanalyze wordings and actions, but that’s how my life is. Specific words and actions matter.

After what I’ve been through, I really don’t care about myself being seen as the bad guy. People have chosen to misunderstand me. I’m tired. I’m tired of being misunderstood. I’m tired of explaining myself, but there are moments when I still do. Why? Because I am human. I still don’t want the people I CARE about to judge me based on misconceptions of another careless human. Forget the opinions of a stranger. Why would I care about them? But still, even my loved ones judge me the most, so when the viper’s tongue strike, it was because of PMSing…

 

Thanks for sharing it, let4everbe!

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One thought on “Letter #2

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